MisterHippity

Here is the complete table of contents of Charles Dickens’ The Pickwick Papers — which, in my humble opinion, is the greatest table of contents in table-of-contents history:

Table of Contents

1. The Pickwickians

2. The first Day’s Journey, and the first Evening’s Adventures; with their Consequences

3. A new Acquaintance — The Stroller’s Tale — A disagreeable Interruption, and an unpleasant Encounter

4. A Field Day and Bivouac — More new Friends — An Invitation to the Country

5. A short one — Showing, among other Matters, how Mr. Pickwick undertook to drive, and Mr. Winkle to ride, and how they both did it

6. An old-fashioned Card-party — The Clergyman’s verses — The Story of the Convict’s Return

7. How Mr. Winkle, instead of shooting at the Pigeon and killing the Crow, shot at the Crow and wounded the Pigeon; how the Dingley Dell Cricket Club played All–Muggleton, and how All– Muggleton dined at the Dingley Dell Expense; with other interesting and instructive Matters

8. Strongly illustrative of the Position, that the Course of True Love is not a Railway

9. A Discovery and a Chase

10. Clearing up all Doubts (if any existed) of the Disinterestedness of Mr. A. Jingle’s Character

11. Involving another Journey, and an Antiquarian Discovery; Recording Mr. Pickwick’s Determination to be present at an Election; and containing a Manuscript of the old Clergyman’s

12. Descriptive of a very important Proceeding on the Part of Mr. Pickwick; no less an Epoch in his Life, than in this History

13. Some Account of Eatanswill; of the State of Parties therein; and of the Election of a Member to serve in Parliament for that ancient, loyal, and patriotic Borough

14. Comprising a brief Description of the Company at the Peacock assembled; and a Tale told by a Bagman

15. In which is given a faithful Portraiture of two distinguished Persons; and an accurate Description of a public Breakfast in their House and Grounds: which public Breakfast leads to the Recognition of an old Acquaintance, and the Commencement of another Chapter

16. Too full of Adventure to be briefly described

17. Showing that an Attack of Rheumatism, in some Cases, acts as a Quickener to inventive Genius

18. Briefly illustrative of two Points; first, the Power of Hysterics, and, secondly, the Force of Circumstances

19. A pleasant Day with an unpleasant Termination

20. Showing how Dodson and Fogg were Men of Business, and their Clerks Men of pleasure; and how an affecting Interview took place between Mr. Weller and his long-lost Parent; showing also what Choice Spirits assembled at the Magpie and Stump, and what a Capital Chapter the next one will be

21. In which the old Man launches forth into his favourite Theme, and relates a Story about a queer Client

22. Mr. Pickwick journeys to Ipswich and meets with a romantic Adventure with a middle-aged Lady in yellow Curl-papers

23. In which Mr. Samuel Weller begins to devote his Energies to the Return Match between himself and Mr. Trotter

24. Wherein Mr. Peter Magnus grows jealous, and the middle-aged Lady apprehensive, which brings the Pickwickians within the Grasp of the Law

25. Showing, among a Variety of pleasant Matters, how majestic and impartial Mr. Nupkins was; and how Mr. Weller returned Mr. Job Trotter’s Shuttlecock as heavily as it came — With another Matter, which will be found in its Place

26. Which contains a brief Account of the Progress of the Action of Bardell against Pickwick

27. Samuel Weller makes a Pilgrimage to Dorking, and beholds his Mother-in-law

28. A good-humoured Christmas Chapter, containing an Account of a Wedding, and some other Sports beside: which although in their Way even as good Customs as Marriage itself, are not quite so religiously kept up, in these degenerate Times

29. The Story of the Goblins who stole a Sexton

30. How the Pickwickians made and cultivated the Acquaintance of a Couple of nice young Men belonging to one of the liberal Professions; how they disported themselves on the Ice; and how their Visit came to a Conclusion

31. Which is all about the Law, and sundry Great Authorities learned therein

32. Describes, far more fully than the Court Newsman ever did, a Bachelor’s Party, given by Mr. Bob Sawyer at his Lodgings in the Borough

33. Mr. Weller the elder delivers some Critical Sentiments respecting Literary Composition; and, assisted by his Son Samuel, pays a small Instalment of Retaliation to the Account of the Reverend Gentleman with the Red Nose

34. Is wholly devoted to a full and faithful Report of the memorable Trial of Bardell against Pickwick

35. In which Mr. Pickwick thinks he had better go to Bath; and goes accordingly

36. The chief Features of which will be found to be an authentic Version of the Legend of Prince Bladud, and a most extraordinary Calamity that befell Mr. Winkle

37. Honourably accounts for Mr. Weller’s Absence, by describing a Soiree to which he was invited and went; also relates how he was intrusted by Mr. Pickwick with a Private Mission of Delicacy and Importance

38. How Mr. Winkle, when he stepped out of the Frying-pan, walked gently and comfortably into the Fire

39. Mr. Samuel Weller, being intrusted with a Mission of Love, proceeds to execute it; with what Success will hereinafter appear

40. Introduces Mr. Pickwick to a new and not uninteresting Scene in the great Drama of Life

41. What befell Mr. Pickwick when he got into the Fleet; what Prisoners he saw there; and how he passed the Night

42. Illustrative, like the preceding one, of the old Proverb, that Adversity brings a Man acquainted with strange Bedfellows — Likewise containing Mr. Pickwick’s extraordinary and startling Announcement to Mr. Samuel Weller

43. Showing how Mr. Samuel Weller got into Difficulties

44. Treats of divers little Matters which occurred in the Fleet, and of Mr. Winkle’s mysterious Behaviour; and shows how the poor Chancery Prisoner obtained his Release at last

45.  Descriptive of an affecting Interview between Mr. Samuel Weller and a Family Party. Mr. Pickwick makes a Tour of the diminutive World he inhabits, and resolves to mix with it, in Future, as little as possible

46. Records a touching Act of delicate Feeling not unmixed with Pleasantry, achieved and performed by Messrs. Dodson and Fogg

47. Is chiefly devoted to Matters of Business, and the temporal Advantage of Dodson and Fogg — Mr. Winkle reappears under extraordinary Circumstances — Mr. Pickwick’s Benevolence proves stronger than his Obstinacy

48. Relates how Mr. Pickwick, with the Assistance of Samuel Weller, essayed to soften the Heart of Mr. Benjamin Allen, and to mollify the Wrath of Mr. Robert Sawyer

49. Containing the Story of the Bagman’s Uncle

50. How Mr. Pickwick sped upon his Mission, and how he was reinforced in the Outset by a most unexpected Auxiliary

51. In which Mr. Pickwick encounters an old Acquaintance — To which fortunate Circumstance the Reader is mainly indebted for Matter of thrilling Interest herein set down, concerning two great Public Men of Might and Power

52. Involving a serious Change in the Weller Family, and the untimely Downfall of Mr. Stiggins

53. Comprising the final Exit of Mr. Jingle and Job Trotter, with a great Morning of business in Gray’s Inn Square — Concluding with a Double Knock at Mr. Perker’s Door

54. Containing some Particulars relative to the Double Knock, and other Matters: among which certain interesting Disclosures relative to Mr. Snodgrass and a Young Lady are by no Means irrelevant to this History

55. Mr. Solomon Pell, assisted by a Select Committee of Coachmen, arranges the affairs of the elder Mr. Weller

56. An important Conference takes place between Mr. Pickwick and Samuel Weller, at which his Parent assists — An old Gentleman in a snuff– coloured Suit arrives unexpectedly

57. In which the Pickwick Club is finally dissolved, and everything concluded to the Satisfaction of Everybody

… on the NY State Marriage Equality bill: Mark Grisanti.

So with Grisanti and Saland both declaring yes tonight, that brings the number of declared “yes” votes to 33, when the required number for passage is 32.

31 senators — just one short of the number needed to pass — have already committed to vote yes, and one of the undecideds, Senator Stephen Saland, is speaking on the Senate floor. I’m watching the live feed. He just said his vote reflects that he “believes in equality for all,” which looks like that means that he’s going to vote yes.

So that should do it. It looks like all the votes needed to legalize gay marriage in New York State are there.

4:05pm - Intermingled with our chants, a woman keeps screeching “vote no”. It sounds strangely like a disco whistle. I’m afraid some gays are going to start a dance party up in here.

The Rev. Emily C. Heath is at the N.Y. State Capitol building in Albany today, and she’s posting live updates on progress toward a vote on gay marriage.

(Latest update: “Equality folks singing ‘Going to the Chapel.’ Other side shouting, ‘no you’re not’”)